Secrets

Just how many pain have i endure just to keep the smile on their face..
They wont know..
Who would even know..
Everything is fine...
Pain is fine...
Heartbreak is fine..

Forgive me for giving fake smiles just so you'd remain happy..
If only they knew how much im breaking inside but i hold myself together so i wont mess things up even more..
If only they knew how much it hurts to pretend im fine so i wont ruin anything..
Ive tried my best...
Idk...
Sometimes i think i better off alone in this world..
And sometimes i think i better off disappear from this world..
No one can handle me..
Even i cant handle myself..
Would they even care..?

I just shake too much when im upset..
It really hurts...
I really wanna stab my arms and shoulders and chest so i could stop shaking so much when im trying to hold back my tears..

Help me...